Osho says:

The seed cannot know what is going to happen, the seed has never known the flower. And the seed cannot even believe that he has the potentiality to become a beautiful flower. Long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because unknown is the path, nothing is guaranteed. Thousand and one are the hazards of the journey, many are the pitfalls — and the seed is secure, hidden inside a hard core. But the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security, it starts moving. Immediately the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. And the seed was very hard and the sprout will be very, very soft and dangers will be many.

There was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. But the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, not knowing why. Great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.

The same is the path for man. It is arduous. Much courage will be needed.

In the commentary, there is this: “There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower, we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.”

And that was in the Resources position in my reading! What an amazing card in that position, how very inspiring. And, at the same time, it’s also a little bit nerve wracking. It feels amazing to think that this deck has so much faith in me, and humbling as well.

At the advice of a friend of mine, I’ve been working to increase my receptivity to the whispers of the spirit world, of my guides. I’ve been working towards lowering my shields and being more open, vulnerable and available. It’s damn scary work, but having this card arrive in my reading gives me much needed positive reinforcement.

The central cross portion of the reading also spoke of the need to be open to guidance from without. It advised me to listen to my intuition, become open to the world, and to be secure in myself and my insights. The reading told me to trust it, to trust myself, to trust life.

In trusting life, I will bloom, as the seed becomes the flower.

Here’s hoping everyone is having a better week than I am!

Sometimes when the deck cuts in the same place it means there’s a bent card, or that one of the cards has gotten nicked on the edge. I examined my deck, to see if that was the case. It wasn’t. So I shuffled the deck again, cut, and dealt out a reading. And, yes, I did have the same cards that had shown at the cut appear in the reading.

I didn’t have a chance to get in depth with the cards at that time — I was reading for others, mainly. It wasn’t until later, in the quiet of nap time, that I had an opportunity to re-lay the reading and look at it. Once more, the cards are heavy on the Major Arcana for me, as well as telling me both things I already knew as well as pointing out in unmistakable fashion things I wish I didn’t know.

In a ten card Celtic Cross layout I drew:

1. The Rebel (Trump IV — The Emperor)
2. Experiencing (3 of Fire or Wands)
3. The Fool (Trump 0)
4. The Creator (King of Wands)
5. Guidance (3 of Rainbows or Coins)
6. Aloneness (Trump IX — The Hermit)
7. Guilt (8 of Clouds or Swords)
8. Courage (Trump VIII — Strength)
9. Outsider (5 of Rainbows)
10. Receptivity (Queen of Water or Cups)

I read the cards using the Zen Celtic Cross interpretations, with cards three and five as unconscious and conscious influences, and cards four and six as yin and yang influences.

The central ‘cross’ portion of the reading mainly told me things that were nice to hear, but weren’t revelatory or shocking to me. In general, I’m making good progress with the work I’ve been doing, the decisions I’ve made are good ones for me. I should really focus on following through on all the good work I’ve been doing, and work to make sure the changes I’ve made are sustainable.

I’m moving from a position of rigid control and ‘I must be vindicated’ness and towards an acceptance of a more flowing and open, fluid living embodiment of who I truly am. Instead of pretending to be who I wish to be, I’m moving into a space in which it will be possible for me to stop pretending and start being.

The revelatory portion of the reading came from the Staff of Awareness, the final four cards in the reading.

I’ll let Osho’s words tell the tale:

Guilt sits on your chest like a rock, it crushes you; it does not allow you to dance. How can you dance? How can guilt dance? How can guilt sing? How can guilt love? How can guilt live? So the one who thinks he is doing something wrong is guilty, burdened, dead before death, has already entered the grave.

In the commentary for Guilt, there is this: “…when we punish ourselves for our failures by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.”

I’ve been wrestling with those areas of my life in which I have failed, in which I have not lived up to my own or others’ expectations, and feeling very guilty and worthy of punishment. I’ve been feeling unworthy of good things, even though I know that I am worthy; worth has nothing at all to do with whether or not there are good things in a person’s life. Everyone is worthy of having those things which are good to them. All people deserve peace, happiness and abundance.

Have you been letting guilt weigh you down? Have other people’s expectations of you, for you, about your life made you feel unworthy?

The progress from left to right is very easy for the Western mind to grasp; it’s a linear reading with each of the card proceeding from the one before it. If the querent is interested in the temporal aspect of a situation, the cards can be read as Past, Present and Future. In a time based three card reading, the past card relates what major influences resulted in the current situation. The present card represents the most important aspects of the present moment to look at, and the future card points out one possible outcome or something to be aware of.

The three card spread can be read as Body, Mind and Soul. The physical body has needs and desires that can be hidden from the conscious mind — the body card points these out. Issues of health and fitness, diet, nutrition and stress issues are revealed in the first card. The mind card points out any unconscious or unaware trends within the mental processes of the querent. Stress, worries, emotional upsets as well as psychological issues are the subject of this card. In the soul card issues of the querent’s purpose in life, their meaning and bliss are brought to light. What does the client need, spiritually, where do they go next? The soul card can be tricky to interpret — intuition comes into play in this particular reading quite a bit.

In Jungian terms the three card spread can be interpreted as Subconscious, Conscious and Superconscious (Deity or God-Mind). For those querents interested in their own mental processes, looking for insight into why they do what they do, or for guidance in matters of the mind, the Jungian three card can provide quite a bit of insight. Again, the third card can be a bit of a stumper, but when it’s clear it can also be a two by four to the head.

The first two versions of the three card reading are the most commonly used, with the Past, Present, Future interpretation being by far the most common. Anything that the reader or querent can think of that comes in threes can be read as the three positions. Male/Female/Androgyn; Straight/Bi/Gay; Move/Don’t Move/Other Option; Who am I?/What do I need?/How do I get it? The possibilities are well nigh endless.

How do you use the three card spread? Do you do something interesting with your short readings?

If you’re interested in a reading from me, please don’t hesitate to email me at enlightenment.tarot@gmail. There are no silly or weird questions; all areas of human life are open to the cards. Love, career or life path; past lives, future forecasts or an in depth look at the current situation.

If you’re looking for a psychic intuitive, be happy, because you’ve found one. I use the Tarot cards to channel and control my abilities; before I found the cards, I would sometimes disturb my family or friends with the things that I would say. With age comes experience, and now I know where my insights came from, and why I was given this ability.

I am clairsentient and clairaudient: sometimes I ‘hear’ a message from the spirit world, and sometimes I simply ‘know’. I use the cards to give my abilities form and structure, as well as using the cards to increase the amount of detail and precision in my readings.

Contact me for Tarot or for psychic readings today. By email: enlightenment.tarot@gmail.com; via twitter: ZenOfTarot.

In the Rider-Waite deck, the Magician stands at a table, upon which are four objects representing both the four suits of the Tarot but the four elements: a Cup for Water, a Sword for Air, a Coin or Pentacle for Earth and a Wand or Stave for Fire. The four objects on the table are also the symbols of work, ambition, intellect and love. The understanding here is that the Magician has control over the four elements, and thus over all the aspects of life.

The Magician is robed in white for true purpose with a red cloak of power and authority. He wears a belt that is an ouroboros, or snake devouring itself; the snake eating itself is a symbol of eternity and transformation — as a belt, it indicates that the Magician is eternal in spirit, ever changing and yet ever constant.

The stance of the Magician, with the right hand raised and holding a wand, while his left hand points to the ground, indicates the movement of energy and divinity from the realm of spirit into the physical world. The Magician is literally and figuratively a magician: he brings into being that which did not exist before. He is creative and communes with the Divine. As a shaman, the Magician stands between the Spirit world and the physical world and brings energy, insight and communion.

The Magician arises from the the Fool; no longer blissfully unaware of his place in the world, the Magician is the first step towards differentiation from the world. As a babe begins to define itself as separate from its Mother, so the Magician begins to define himself as separate from the purely physical world. Still of the physical world, the Magician looks towards what gifts of the Divine are his to be mastered; he steps into the in-between and brings back to the physical world power.

The Magician reminds us that if you can think it, it can be made real. The power of the Magician lies in thought and will. The original idea, the inspiration and motivation to act in the world are readily available when the Magician appears in a reading. While it is of paramount importance to be very clear in yourself about your intentions, remember that the Magician is not only a card of intent. The Magician indicates that this is a time to act, to do, to be. Examine what you desire in the situation at hand and be as clear as you can about what you really want, need and desire. The energy is present to make your dreams a reality — if you put in the work needed.

Resources:

1. Spiritual Tarot: 78 Paths to Personal Development by Echols et. al
2. The Pictorial Key to the Tarot by A.E. Waite
3. Motherpeace: A Way to the Goddess through Myth, Art and Tarot by Vicki Noble
4. The Little Black Book of Tarot

The Aquarian Tarot Magician can be seen here. Pictured above, the Rider-Waite Magician. At right, the Magician from the Connolly Tarot, the deck I use most often.

My mom and I have a difficult relationship. There’s quite a lot about me and about my life that she simply doesn’t know. In college I told her once, told my whole family, really, that if they ever wanted to know the details about my life, they only had to ask. I find it telling that they’ve never actually asked me about my life.

I put the power to determine how deeply involved in my life my family is right into their hands. And they backed away from me, cautiously. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, after all, if a moody and strange young twenty-something challenged me to ask them about their life, I might back away too. In a way, I dared them to see me, to be curious about me, to make themselves a part of my life. It fits that fundamentalist Christians with not very much experience with alternative lifestyles would distance themselves.

Fast forward to today: my mom has developed the habit of sending me emails with links to evangelical Christian sermons. The one she sent me today is all about being of ‘good cheer‘, and how God can help you be successful, but only if you really want to be. The eye rolling is epic. While I can agree with the basic premise (success really is an attitude, and if you believe in yourself and work hard, eventually you’ll make it), I find myself reacting very strongly to the fact that my mother sent this to me. Guess who thinks I’m a failure…

What I need from any relationship, be it blood family, my family of choice, my friends or even strangers on the street, is to be seen as what I am, accepted as a complete person and for those people not to expect me to change to meet their expectations. I really do need my mom to be able to see who I really am, my authentic self. This is the version of me that I’ve been working towards living all the time as. Not the ‘retail sales’ me, not the ‘moody artist’ me or the ‘housekeeper’ me, but the me that incorporates all of those personas.

I need to have my accomplishments seen and appreciated and I need to have my failures accepted. I need to be whole and I need for those I love to see my wholeness. I am the sum of my parts, good, bad and ugly, and to fail to see all of me is to reject all of me. If the parts of me that are displeasing to my mother are invisible to her, then I feel invisible. I also feel sad, upset and lonely.

In order for me to feel as though I am seen, appreciated and loved, it is best when my loved ones speak my love language. I’ve realized lately that I speak one language to show my love to others, and a different language when I’m receiving love. (If you wonder which you speak, you can check out Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages site. There’s a quiz!) When I want to show love, I do things for my loved ones. I’m an ‘acts of service’ kinda gal. But in order for me to have my need to feel loved and appreciated met, I do much better when my loved ones speak the ‘words of affirmation’ language.

I adore being told good things about myself. Cheers, ‘you go girl’s, ‘wow, you did a good job’… “I love you.” I eat those up like candy. Want to watch me turn into a glowbug? Tell me something that lets me know that you see me. If you can see all of me, accept all of me, appreciate me as I am and tell me so? Golly. That’s the trifecta plus one!

Right now I’m working on edging up to taking back the power in my relationship with my mom. I need her to see me and it’s obvious she won’t ask. So I need that power back in my hands. Yes, this means I’ll be nerving myself to come out to my family. I know that this risks rejection, that I may wind up with the opposite of what I want to have happen. But the way the relationship is right now isn’t meeting my needs, either.

I have a draft of an email to my mom undergoing revisions right now; it includes a link to this site. I think I want to come out to my mom a bit more directly than just sending her a link. “Hey mom, look at this, and btdubs, I’m totally gay, kinky, don’t practice monogamy and I’m not Christian. Surprise!” But I do think that giving myself a deadline to get this done is a good thing, because I know me and I’ll let it slide. What do you think? How long should I give myself to come out to my family? Should I do it all at once, or should I do it a little at a time? One big shock or a series of smaller ones?

I’m looking forward to answering your questions on the air!

ETA: I finished up about an hour and a half ago… That was incredibly fun! I hope that all the folks who tuned in to listen enjoyed the show and the readings, because I certainly did!

I was so hyped up after an hour of reading after reading that I just had to take the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood. There’s nothing quite so grounding as walking a couple of miles in the rain, with dogs by your side. I feel much more connected into the real world now.

For the coming week, look for essays on The Magician, the 3-Card Layout and I’ve got a post cued up about my relationship with my mom.

Here’s hoping everyone has a wonderful, brilliant and radiant week!

Check out my auctions!

Ending in one day, this half hour ten card reading is a steal! This one ends tomorrow morning and is for the full hour long consultation; you’ll receive a ten card (or more) reading, in depth analysis of your issue or problem, and a written set of notes on the reading. An amazing deal! (The listing specifies only ten cards, but for this reading I’ll go as long as it takes. The Full Monty, as it were.)

Ten Card Celtic Cross Layout

If those sound like too much of a time commitment, don’t worry! I’ve also got a three card reading up for just five dollars! Body, Mind and Soul, or Past, Present, Future: your call.

Hesitate and these great deals will evaporate into the bowels of ebay, gone until I relist them.

Are you hesitant about contacting a reader? Is your situation unusual, strange or non-conventional? Worried your reader will judge you or laugh at you?

I guarantee a completely non-judgmental environment for my readings. Whatever lifestyle you live, whatever your situation, I promise you that when you contact me for a reading you will receive a totally professional, calm, uncritical reading.

I am a sex positive, openly gay, polyamorous reader with over a decade of experience in the kink scene. There is very little that you can ask me about that I haven’t come across before. No question too weird, no situation too strange.

Introductory rate for those interested in dipping their toes in: a ten card celtic cross reading, half hour, $20. Email me at enlightenment.tarot@gmail .com (take out the space.) Follow me on twitter for more great deals: ZenOfTwitter